Attachments

Attachment is an emotional bond with another person. Everyone says that attachment hurts the most. Yes, it is absolutely true. I am reading a book and listened a podcast and came across this attachment theory. I was really intrigued with the concept. So, I thought to write about my thoughts on this topic.

Attachment theory has a crucial role in understanding child development, mental health, and his/her relationships with others. If we talk about romantic relationship, getting attached to the other person is quite natural. We get attached to someone because we are interested in them, connected with them emotionally. We were a part of their good and bad times. Getting attached to someone will lead to multiple breakdowns like cherishing those memories, quality time spend with them, etc. You want to talk to that person throughout because talking to them makes you happy. Caring comes as a byproduct for that person.

If we talk about other attachments rather than romantic, which falls under the same base but in a different way like a relationship of attachment between a brother and a sister classifies that they have spent many years together and getting attached to each other then suddenly one of the siblings has to move out to a different city. This also hurts the most but it has not been acknowledged much. Let’s get to know about the attachment styles.

There are four types of attachment style:

1. Secured attachment:  Secured attachment derives that you trust people but don’t over-respond to the idea of being rejected. You believe in the trait of complacency (self-satisfaction), you are comfortable with everything and accept others. This is the best type of attachment and everyone should inculcate it. Being satiated with what you have is a beautiful extempore of self-discovery somehow. Example: A child who explores a playground while frequently looking back to ensure their parent is nearby.
2. Avoidant attachment: It derives when someone is emotionally unavailable and insensitive. He is being self-contained, most comfortable alone and prioritize your independence. There are days when we like to be alone but eventually if we make it a habit then in future we are unable or inflexible of changes. Prioritizing independence is great but along with equal priorities to your life be it your health, family, friends, hobbies, etc. Example: Avoiding close relationships and value self-reliance over intimacy.
3. Anxious attachment: This attachment derives assuming, mind reading, projecting, predicting and anticipation outcomes. One lacks in self-esteem, very reluctant to explore, feel anxious all the time, constantly seeking reassurance and fear abandonment in relationships. This is one of the most alarming attachment. Because you are constantly chasing the battle of anxiety. I follow a principle like when something is uncontrollable so why to think about it instead think about the worst case scenario for that situation. You will get your answers immediately. Example: An adult constantly texting their partner feeling uneasy if they don’t receive prompt replies.
4. Disorganized attachment: This attachment derives distress, and to survive. It results in trauma characterized by inconsistent and confusing behaviour. This attachment is extremely baffled. You are attached to someone but don’t want to be together always. Example: Child shows unpredictable responses to caregivers and sometimes seeking comfort and other times withdrawing or acting out.

I know it’s not easy to get detached with someone but if we try to take small steps by accepting the fact that every relationship should not be permanent some are memorable. That’s it for today’s blog. I hope I conveyed my thoughts to you guys. Do let me know in the comments how do you like this blog.

You can check out the below quiz about attachments and figure out your attachment style and work on the cures or preventions.

https://traumasolutions.com/

Check out my previous blog: https://www.aestheticaashi.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=402&action=edit